Just for today

Just for today
It's a bird,it's Superman, no...it's Grandma in a plane flying to Colorado to see her grandson. Today is the big day. In 12 hours I wil be holding my grandson Brian in my arms. I am soooo excited!!!!
I have lots to do today. Things that I have been putting off like going blonde again, getting my haircut, shopping, putting on the Nicoderm CQ patch. Yep, you heard right on that one. I quit smoking today. It's so easy to do with the patches.
They're like magic. That's because I'm still getting the nicotine in my body so I don't go through any withdraws. For anyone who has tried to quit smoking, it can be one of the hardest thing you can try to do. It's more addictive than heroin. But at least for this week while I'm around my grandson, I will not smoke.
Did I tell you I am soooooooo excited!
Expect lots of pictures when I get back.
TaTa

Just for today

Just for today
When you walk through a storm, hold your held up high.
Okay, so the storm in Houston has passed and all the water is gone. Read Angie's blog.
Everyday life...I don't see how women can be housewives. I haven't worked in 2 months and I'm going nuts. There are only so many books that one can read and only so much TV that I can tolerate. What do people do all day long that don't work or go to school? I can't spend time with my friends because they are all at work. I can't do any type of excercise or activities because I'm in so much pain. I've learned that I can go to sleep at any time of the day now. I'm glad I have unlimited long distance. I've learned that there are a lot of games on the internet that one can play for many, many, many, hours. I've even learned how to blog!!!!

Just for today: Everyday

Just for today: Father's Day
Oh owwwhh. The pain woke me up at 5:00 a.m. So now, I'm up. I'm walking like a little old lady. But hey, I'm up and I checked two newspapers and my name was not in the obituaries so I guess I'm having a good day.
Speaking of obits...today is Father's Day. My father died 20 years ago of a brain aneurysm. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We disconnected his life support system because he had been brain dead for 4 days. I held his hand until the very last breath. I can still feel his hand in mine when I close my hand. I get great comfort from that. I still feel his presence in my everyday life. Funny, his death does not feel like his life ended because he is so much still a part of my life.
It's not that he was a great father, but he was my father. It's all the little things that I remember about him. He would leave all of his change from his pants pockets for me in the bathroom. And then tell me that he left for me. He would take us on long drives in the country just because. He would take us to the State Fair or any carnival that would be in town. When I got older and stayed with him for awhile, he would have a cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for me when I got up. We would stay up all night to record a song that I wrote. He would call me long distance just to hear me play my guitar. He gave me lots of hugs and smiles. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when Dad's pay attention to their kids, that's what matters.
I'm very proud of the type of father that my son has turned out to be. He is amazed by everything that his son does. He truly enjoys being a dad. I heard someone once say that the best way for a father to show his children love is to show them how much he loves their mother. My son foremost loves his wife.
I am looking forward to watching my other son, Alex, become a father. I feel very fortunate that my grandchildren have such wonderful parents.
Fathers are forever.

Everyday

So I just found out that my daughter has gone on strike from blogging until everyone else blogs. How did I raise such a stubborn woman? I guess when she says that she wants to communicate with everyone, I guess she means it.

Okay, I was going to wait until I really started to get into this cancer thing until I started blogging everyday, but I guess I will start now. Bear with me folks, because I plan on doing a lot of venting through this blog. Somedays it ain't going to be pretty, but I will give you a daily basis of what it is like to go through cancer for the last time. I swear, I am not going to do this again. This is it...one of us will not live through this. Either cancer or me will be the only one left standing. If I have my way, it will be ME left standing. I guess that is where Ang gets her stubborness from. I am more determined than ever to whoop cancers' ass for the last time.

Well, so far...I have had two mammograms, two ultrasounds, one x-ray, one CAT scan, one MRI, one biopsy, and one blood test. It has been since January 7th that I started to have all these test. The first mammogram came out normal. Then on April 26th, I had an ultrasound done at a different hospital and they found the cancer in my right breast. Then on May 24, I went to the emergency room because my left arm was numb and my back hurt so bad that I could hardly move. They did an x-ray, then came back in and said I needed an MRI. After that the doctor came in and told me the good news was that I did not have to have surgery today. But the bad news was that it looked like the cancer has metasised in my bones. So they do a brain scan just to make sure that it had not spread to my brain. (I was just reliefed that they found a brain) Next....May 30, I have another mammogram and another ultrasound, back at the orginal hospital. Again, it showed cancer in my right breast and oh yeah, a lymph node on my left side doesn't look to good either. So on June 8th, I have a biospy done and sure enough, the needle hits the tumor. By now I have been told, ummm let's see...4 times that I have cancer. Okay, I get it. Duh! I wish that everyone would stop telling me that and just let me do something about it. Okay, I'm done venting. Thanks.

On to good news...I am going to see my grandson Brian next week. My son Joe surprised me with an airline ticket. He called last night to let me listen to Brian talk. It was the first time that I ever heard him talk. Brian is 14 months old and really has his dad wrapped around his little finger. Joe would say to Brian:
Joe: Say I
Brian: I
Joe: Say love
Brian: Yooou!
Joe just melts when he does that. Joe said that he has waited his whole life for this boy, so he can have anything he wants. Brian goes to a really great day care. They teach the children to sign language before they can talk so that they can communicate before they can verbalize. I think that is really great. They also wipe his hands every time they change his diaper so that he will always associate washing his hands when he goes to the bathroom. No wondering if this guy washes his hands when he grows up! I have'nt seen my grandson since he was five weeks old, so I am just thrilled to be going on this trip. It's also great for Joe and his wife Natalie because with Grandma there they can date each other for the whole week. So, I finally figured out what being a Grandma means to kids. It means "babysitter". It also means that I get to spoil him rotten and then leave!

Speaking of grandchildren...there are no sweeter words than "Hi, Grandma" ! When one of my children says that to me I start crying and laughing and jumping up and down on the furniture. My son Alex and his wife Carrie have been trying for years to conceive and he called me up last week and said those sweet words to me. I love when goods things happed like that for my children.

Whenever Angie has good news, she tells me first that one of the rules I must follow before she will tell me is that I MUST breath! I love when she tells me good news...she's so calm about it. (Like when she told me about Bob) I held out for as long as I could when she was telling me before I told her that I had to get off the phone so I could whoop and holler. She understood. Don't ya, Ang?

Okay, this blog is long enough for today. Angie, be careful what you wish for. You want blogging, you'll get blogging. Because i have nothing but time on my hands.
See ya all later

Just for today

Friends
What would we do without friends? I read all the blogs and I realize that everyone has friends that make their lifes so much richer. They are like a patchwork quilt. Every one is different, but they all fit together to make up our lives. Friends make you laugh, cry, giggle, love, hug, mad, frustratd, strong, faithful, honest, vulnerable, late, deaf, hungry,....
Wait a minute, had to raid the pantry on that last one. Munch, munch.
It always seems as though just when you thought you couldn't stand to go through another minute of ??? by yourself, a friend will call, e-mail, or stop by. Ever notice how many times in your day that a friend will do that?
I have friends that I have been close to as many as 30 years. That's over half of my lifetime. I'm sure that all of you have friends like that too. Well, maybe not that long because you're not that old. The reason why you do is because you ARE a friend. In order to have a good friend, you must be a good friend.
That's just my thought for today.